Helplessness and How to Combat It

As a nurse, I see firsthand how aging can bring a sense of helplessness to our loved ones. It’s a plague that creeps in, sapping their independence and confidence. But here’s the good news: we can combat it! It’s all about empowering them, making smart use of adaptive devices, and encouraging them to stay active. Let’s dive into some practical tips that can make a real difference.

Empowerment Through Decision-Making

One of the most significant contributors to helplessness is the feeling that they no longer have control over their lives. This lack of control can also lead to resentfulness, isolation, and resistance to assistance when needed. Let’s change that by involving them in decision-making. Here’s how:

1. Daily Choices: Encourage your loved one to make everyday decisions, no matter how small. What to wear, what to eat for dinner, or which movie to watch. These small choices add up and reinforce their autonomy.  Bring them to the grocery and clothing stores to assist with the shopping.  We may think we are making life easier for them by picking out their things, but giving our loved ones options can keep them feeling in control and maintain their sense of independence. 

2. Healthcare Decisions: When it comes to health, involve them in discussions with doctors and caregivers. Let them express their preferences for treatments or therapies. This can be as simple as asking, “Do you prefer taking your medication before or after breakfast?” Allowing your parents to make decisions ultimately will increase the chances for “buy-in.”  Flashback to your teenage years!!!  If your parent feels forced or out of control, it is less likely that you will see the desired action take place.  

3. Home Environment: If you’re making changes at home to accommodate their needs, get their input. Whether selecting the color for a new ramp or choosing the location for handrails, their opinion matters and helps them feel valued. After all, it is their home!

Adaptive Devices: Enhancing Independence

Helplessness can be driven by your parent’s physical difficulties due to arthritis, surgery, short-term illness, or disease. Adaptive devices are fantastic tools that can make daily tasks easier and safer for our aging loved ones. Here are some of the basics we have discussed in past blogs and other creative game-changers with links:

1. Grab Bars and Handrails: Installing these in the bathroom and along stairways can prevent falls and provide much-needed support. They’re a simple addition that offers a lot of security.

2. Reacher/Grabber Tools: These extendable tools are perfect for picking up items from the floor or reaching things on high shelves. They’re great for maintaining independence without constantly needing to ask for help.

3. Shower Chairs and Transfer Benches: Bathing can be a major challenge. A shower chair or transfer bench can make it safer and more comfortable, reducing the risk of slips and falls.

4. Smart Home Assistants: (e.g., Amazon Echo, Google Home) These voice-activated devices can help seniors with daily tasks such as setting reminders for medications, controlling smart home devices (lights, thermostats), making phone calls, and just providing information to questions like “What is the weather going to be today?” or “Who is the lead actor in the movie Gone With the Wind?” 

5. Digital Pill Dispensers: (e.g., MedMinder, Hero) These devices help manage medication schedules by dispensing the correct doses at the right times. They often come with features like alarms, notifications to caregivers, and even locking mechanisms to prevent double-dosing. Below is an example of a higher-tech one, but just a simple pillbox organized weekly can do the trick.

6. Adaptive Utensils: (e.g., Liftware Steady, Good Grips)Designed for individuals with limited hand mobility or conditions like Parkinson’s disease, these utensils help stabilize hand tremors and provide an easier grip, making it simpler to eat independently. 

7. GPS Smart Soles: (e.g., GPS SmartSole): We have talked about tracking devices before, but this is a new one for me and SO COOL!! These insoles fit inside regular shoes and have built-in GPS tracking, which can be invaluable for seniors with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Caregivers can track their loved one’s location via a smartphone app, providing peace of mind and enhancing safety.

Amazon Echo

Med-E-Lert Pill Dispenser

Good Grips Utensils

Airtag Holder Shoe Inserts

Staying Active and Functionally Fit

Keeping active is crucial to combat helplessness. It maintains physical health, boosts mood, and enhances overall well-being. Here are some suggestions to keep them moving:

1. Gentle Exercise Programs: Activities like walking, yoga, or tai chi are excellent. They improve balance, flexibility, and strength. Many community centers offer classes tailored for seniors, or you can find online videos to follow at home.

2. Hobby-Based Activities: Encourage them to engage in hobbies that require movement, such as gardening, dancing, or even light housework. These activities keep them physically active and provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.

3. Regular Social Interaction: Social activities often involve movement, whether a stroll in the park with friends, a community dance, or a group exercise class. Staying socially active is just as important as physical activity and can motivate them to keep moving.

Aging doesn’t have to mean losing independence or feeling helpless. By empowering our loved ones to make decisions, equipping them with adaptive devices, and encouraging an active lifestyle, we can help them maintain their dignity and zest for life. Remember, it’s the small, consistent efforts that make the biggest difference.

Together…