Parents, Who is in Charge of the Things?

Let’s dive into a topic that might not be the most thrilling dinner conversation but is oh-so-important: helping your parents sort out their medical and financial affairs. It’s a topic that many find daunting, yet it’s crucial to address sooner rather than later. In this blog, I want to share some advice on helping your aging parents choose a medical power of attorney, financial power of attorney, and executor of their will. Who the heck are these people, what is the difference between them and what are their responsibilities?

First up, Who are these people? Let’s break down some of the legal jargon:

 Medical Power of Attorney (POA): A medical power of attorney is a legal document that grants someone (called a healthcare proxy or agent) the authority to make healthcare decisions on your parents behalf if they are unable to do so themselves. This person should be someone trusted by your parents and must be able to have the crucial conversations regarding your parents medical wishes and end of life care so they know exactly how to act in their best interests and carry out their wishes when the time comes. 


Financial Power of Attorney (POA): A financial power of attorney is another legal document that authorizes someone to manage the financial and legal matters on your parents behalf if they are unable to do so themselves. This can include paying bills, managing investments, and making financial decisions. Similar to the medical POA, the appointed individual should be someone trustworthy and capable of handling financial responsibilities responsibly.


Executor of the Will: An executor is the person responsible for carrying out the instructions outlined in someone’s will after they pass away. This includes distributing assets, paying debts and taxes, and handling any legal proceedings related to the estate. It’s a role that requires attention to detail, organization, and a willingness to navigate complex legal matters during a challenging time.


Now, let’s discuss the differences between these roles:

Scope of Authority: While both medical and financial powers of attorney involve decision-making authority, they pertain to different aspects of your parents’ lives. The medical POA covers healthcare decisions, whereas the financial POA pertains to financial and legal matters. Then the executor will handle the will and estate after death. 


Timing of Effectiveness: A medical power of attorney typically takes over responsibilities when a person is unable to make their own healthcare decisions due to incapacity. 
Pro Tip: If you have designated who your Medical POA is going to be PLEASE put them on all medical paperwork as “Someone who medical providers can share and discuss information”. Even if you are capable of making your decisions at the time it is helpful to have this person capable of discussing options with the healthcare professionals in order to assist you to make informed decisions.  

The financial power of attorney can be structured to take effect immediately or only when certain conditions are met, such as incapacitation. Pro Tip:  Similar to the Medical POA if you trust this person enough to put them in charge of your finances when you can’t, don’t leave them in the dark so they then have a ton of paperwork to sift through during an emotionally challenging time.  Start the crucial conversations EARLY!

Unlike the powers of attorney, the executorship role comes into play after your parents pass away. The executor is responsible for handling their estate according to the instructions laid out in the will. This involves a legal process known as probate, which can vary depending on state laws and the complexity of the estate.

Now, how can you help your aging parents navigate these decisions?

Have these Crucial Conversations Early: Encourage your parents to discuss their wishes regarding healthcare, finances, and their estate while they are still able to make informed decisions. This ensures that their preferences are known and can guide your family’s actions in the future. 


Seek Professional Advice: Consider enlisting the help of an estate planning attorney. They can help translate legal jargon and draw up necessary documents that reflect your parents’ wishes. They can also provide guidance on selecting suitable individuals to serve as POA agents and executor. (See TalkElder.com for help as well) 


Consider Family Dynamics: Take into account family dynamics and relationships when choosing POA agents and an executor. Personalities and skills matter in these decisions. It’s essential to select individuals who can work together collaboratively and impartially, putting your parents’ best interests first. Pro Tip:  These people don’t have to be family members. 


Review and Update Regularly: Life circumstances can change, so it’s crucial to review and update these documents periodically. Perhaps schedule this after your parents annual physical each year or the first week of a new year when you are starting fresh. Births, deaths, marriages, divorces, and changes in health or financial status may necessitate revisions to ensure the documents remain current and effective.


 In the end, helping your parents navigate the world of powers of attorney and executorship might not be the most glamorous task, but it’s one that shows you care. So, grab a pen, pour each of you a cup of strong coffee and get to work.  After all, it is all about ensuring your parents’ peace of mind and happiness as they sail into the sunset of their lives.

If you need help we have your back because together…