Hey Parents...We Need to Know Where Everything Is!

As adult children, we often find ourselves in a peculiar position, caught between the responsibilities of our own lives and the care and concern we have for our aging parents. It’s a delicate balance, one that requires us to think ahead and plan for the unexpected. After all, we never want to imagine a scenario where we need to step in and take control of our parents’ affairs. However, the reality is that emergencies can happen, and being prepared can make all the difference.

One crucial aspect of this planning…Where is EVERYTHING??  From safety deposit boxes to fire proof safes to shoved in a box in the back of a closet, all of our parents’ have their own “safe place”  where they keep their important documents, financial information, and passwords. Wherever this place is it is crucial that we know where it is all located so it is readily available in case of emergencies or when they pass away. 

So, what exactly do we need to know?

Here are some key items:

1. Medical Directives, Health Insurance Information, Long-Term Care Insurance (if applicable): In addition to discussing your parents’ medical care preferences, it’s important to know the location of any living will, medical directives, healthcare proxies, or health insurance documents. If your parents have long-term care insurance this is another document you should have access to and become familiar with so you are aware what extended care or end of life care may be covered. These can be crucial for making decisions about their care and managing their medical expenses.


2. Will: A last will and testament is a crucial document that outlines your parents’ wishes regarding the distribution of their assets after they pass away. Knowing where this document is located can help ensure that their final wishes are carried out smoothly.


3. Bank Accounts: It’s essential to know where your parents hold their bank accounts and have access to important information such as account numbers, branch locations, and passwords. In the event of an emergency, you may need to manage their finances or make critical payments on their behalf.


4. Passwords: In today’s digital age, passwords are the keys to accessing important online accounts, including email, banking, and social media. Make sure you have a secure way of storing and accessing your parents’ passwords, whether it’s through a password manager or a physical document kept in a safe place.


5. Mortgage, Property Deeds, Titles: If your parents own their home, or own other property such as land, rental properties or vacation homes, it’s important to know the details of their mortgages and copies of deeds and titles. This should include the lender’s information and any outstanding balances. In the event of an emergency, having this information on hand is essential to facilitate the management, transfer or sale of these properties.


6. Life Insurance Policies: Life insurance provides financial protection for your loved ones in the event of your parents’ passing. Knowing the details of their policies, including the coverage amount and beneficiary information, can help ensure that their wishes are carried out and that their loved ones are cared for appropriately. 


7. Retirement Accounts: Many individuals rely on retirement savings to support themselves in their later years. Knowing the details of your parents’ retirement accounts, including 401(k)s, IRAs, and pension plans, can help ensure that these funds are managed appropriately and that their retirement goals are met.


8. Vehicle Titles and Registration: If your parents own vehicles, knowing where the titles and registration documents are located can simplify the process of transferring ownership or selling the vehicles.


9. Safe Deposit Box: If your parents have a safe deposit box, it’s important to know its location and have access to the key or combination. Safe deposit boxes often contain valuable items such as jewelry, important documents, or sentimental keepsakes.


I get it, having access to this information may feel uncomfortable or intrusive, but it’s essential for being prepared for the unexpected. Sit down with your parents and have an open and honest conversation. Let them know that you’re not trying to infringe on their privacy but rather to ensure that you can provide support and assistance when needed.

Encourage your parents to organize their important documents in a safe and easily accessible location. Consider helping them create a comprehensive file or folder that contains all the necessary paperwork. This can include everything from legal documents to medical records to contact information for their healthcare providers. I would suggest putting it in a water and fire-proof filing box like this one.

As adult children, it’s our responsibility to know where our parents keep their important items. By being prepared and having access to crucial documents we can help ensure that their wishes are carried out and that their affairs are managed smoothly. It’s a small but significant step towards providing peace of mind for both ourselves and our aging parents.

If you need additional help, contact us at [email protected].

 Together…