A Holiday Guide: How to Tell If Your Loved One Needs More Support

With the holidays coming up, I know you’re excited to spend time with your loved ones. Between the family gatherings and catching up over dinner, it’s also a great time to quietly check in on how your older relatives are doing. Sometimes, it’s easier to notice little things when you’re visiting in person, and a few small signs might tell you they’re starting to struggle with day-to-day tasks.

Here are some things you might want to keep an eye out for (without making it obvious, of course):

1. Cleanliness of Their Home

If their home doesn’t seem as neat as you remember, it could be more than just a busy holiday season. Is the kitchen a bit messier than usual? Are there dishes piling up or laundry left undone? Check for things like expired food in the fridge or a bathroom that seems a little neglected. These could be signs that keeping up with the house is becoming harder than it used to be.

2. Personal Hygiene

Noticing any changes in how your loved one is taking care of themselves? If they’re wearing the same clothes a lot, or their grooming doesn’t seem quite right, it could be a hint that managing personal hygiene has become more difficult. This might be because they’re physically finding it harder to shower or dress, or perhaps they’re just forgetting to do these things.

3. Increased Isolation

The holidays are a time for family and connection, but if you notice your loved one isn’t spending time with friends, participating in their usual activities, or engaging with their community, it could be a sign they’re struggling. Maybe they’ve stopped doing hobbies they once loved or aren’t attending social gatherings like they used to. Isolation like this might suggest they’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or even dealing with cognitive changes. If they seem less engaged or withdrawn, it’s worth gently checking in to see how they’re really doing—it could be more than just holiday stress.

4. Dents on the Car

This one can be easy to miss! If your loved one still drives, take a quick look at their car. Any new scratches, dents, or fender-benders? These could be signs that driving is becoming more challenging for them. It’s hard to have that conversation about cutting back on driving, but noticing the signs early can help keep them safe on the road.

5. Home and Lawn Maintenance

Is their house or yard looking a bit more run-down than usual? If the lawn hasn’t been mowed in a while or there’s some home maintenance that’s gone unattended (like broken appliances or clogged gutters), it could mean they’re having trouble keeping up with those tasks. This is especially true if they’ve always been pretty on top of things in the past.

6. Weight Loss or Poor Eating Habits

Take note of how they’re eating. Are they losing weight, or does it seem like they’re not eating balanced meals? If they’re skipping meals or relying too much on snacks, it might be because grocery shopping and meal preparation have become more challenging. They may even forget to eat, which can sometimes happen as we age.

7. Piled-Up Mail or Missed Appointments

If you notice a growing stack of unopened mail or bills, it might be a sign they’re overwhelmed or forgetful. Missing appointments or unpaid bills can suggest they’re struggling with organization, which might be related to memory or cognitive changes.

8. Changes in Mood or Behavior

Are they a little more forgetful or irritable than usual? Sudden shifts in mood, confusion, or even anxiety can be indicators of age-related changes. If they seem more withdrawn or have moments of forgetfulness, it’s worth paying attention to and gently checking in.

These signs don’t necessarily mean there’s a serious problem, but they are good clues that your loved one might need a little extra help or support. Sometimes even a small change—like hiring someone to help with cleaning or yard work—can make a big difference for them.

As you enjoy your holiday gatherings, just keep an eye out for these subtle signs. And remember, you’re doing a wonderful job just by being there and caring. It’s all about making sure our loved ones stay happy and safe, especially as they get older.

Happy holidays to you and your family!